A classic tradition in the Kakio family (well at least for me) is watching the TBS 24 hour marathon of A Christmas Story. I’ve been doing this since TBS started doing this. These days there is a lot of TV channels that copy this 24 hour marathon tradition. I believe How to Train Your Dragon (I have no clue how this relate to Christmas), Meet the Parents (another non-christmas movie), Miracle on 34th Street (both versions), and countless other movies are playing on a loop. For whatever reason, those movies don’t compare to A Christmas Story. There is something about Ralphie and The Parker clan that makes me feel all warm inside. Here are some life lessons that I learned from this classic Christmas movie.
- A kid year always revolves around Christmas.
- That the Long Ranger’s nephew’s horse is always named Victor
- Crossword puzzles contests: always enter them, because you could win $50,000 or a sexy leg lamp. (Both equally pleasing)
- When getting a BB gun, never say you or your friend saw bears at the corner market. Parents will just see right through it.
- A classic mom BB Gun block will always be, “You’ll shoot your eye out!”
- When in a gift answering scramble, Tinker Toys is always a good fall back toy.
- When in a gift answering scramble, a football is never a good fall back toy. Ever!
- Eat all your food. There are starving children who would love to eat your food.
- When fighting off burglars, at the end of the fight always yell, “You’ll be pushing up daisies!”
- What ever you do….Never turn the furnace all the way down.
- Always pee before bundling up for school.
- When bundled up, if you can’t put your arms done…deal with it.
- The order of the Daring Rules:
- I dare ya
- I double dog dare ya
- I triple dare ya
- I triple dog dare ya
- Triple dare can be bypassed.
- Sticking your tongue to a cold pole will stick and the fire department will come.
- If the school’s bell ring, you must go and leave your buddy behind.
- If any one asks who is responsible always deny! It’s better to not get caught than to fess up.
- All leg lamp prize should be shown in the front room window for all to see.
- Bring an elaborate fruit basket doesn’t always ensure an “A++++++” on your essay.
- You are either a bully, a toad, or all the countless victim.
- Using the f-word will result to a soap in the mouth
- Apparently, palmolive soap has a nice malt flavor with a touch of mellow smoothness to it.
- When caught using the f-word, never say you learned it from your dad. Always blame a buddy.
- Be sure to drink your ovaltine.
- If you can’t get your family to get your gift, go straight to Santa.
- When seeing the big man (aka Santa), don’t clam up!
- Learn how to change a fuse.
- Aunt Clara is a bitch.
- When you do shoot your eye out, be sure to think fast of a good cover up story.
- When singing Fa La La La, no matter what singing Fa Ra Ra Ra is never acceptable.
- When the turkey is eaten by a pack of smelly hound dogs, go to a Chinese restaurant.
Here are some life lessons I’ve learn while watching A Christmas Story.
Check out my other life lessons:
What’s your take away with A Christmas Story?